Do you know who you really are?

On a Thursday evening precisely on the 6th of April, 2023, within the cosy confines of a singles community, a young lady bravely decided to share a tale of love and heartbreak. With a sincerity and vulnerability that spoke to her grace and poise, she recounted how she had once set her sights on a man who seemed to return her affections- her first lover at an age where she was naive and unsure if she was doing the right thing.

In the heady throes of emotional turmoil, she had boldly pursued this object of her desire, unaware that the feeling may not have been mutual. The man, it seemed, was content to play along with her advances, but as their relationship developed, the young lady began to suspect that something was amiss.

Perhaps, she mused, he was not interested in her after all, or maybe he was simply not ready for a relationship. Whatever the reason, it became clear that her advances were not being met with the same level of enthusiasm she was investing in the courtship probably because she made the first move by saying "I have a crush on you; I think I love you". And so, with a heavy heart, she made the difficult decision to end things with the man who had once held such promise. Though the pain of rejection still lingered, she knew deep down that she had made the right choice for herself.

The lesson, she shared with us, was that love cannot be forced. It must be given freely and reciprocated in kind. And though it may be painful to let go of what we thought was love, it is far better to seek out a love that is true and genuine, even if it means starting anew even as we discussed and agree with this within the group.

Beyond the story she told us, I had a eureka moment which pained the story she shared with us me in a new light. Could it be that this was love but love unprepared for? What do I mean?

Sometimes we are too quick to say the way we feel is not love especially if we quite had a bad experience. For love to be whole, I will always say it takes two people with the same right understanding of love.

Although she mentioned at the end of her story that she has grown now and is ready for love in its purest form. 

Please note that this doesn't mean that it is wrong for a lady to approach a guy, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it but it must be done in wisdom and with a sensible and mature guy who understands that a lady asking a guy out is not a sign of weakness but of clarity that this is what they want and they want to pursue.

I could depict that because this was her first relationship, one that was born out of an emotional conundrum, she didn't know herself enough. Sometimes you thought you knew yourself enough but experiences tell you otherwise and this one sure did to her. 

I have seen quite a handful of ladies that have gone into relationships because they feel they weren't worthy enough, or good-looking enough and some even say they are useless and good for nothing because society told them so. How untrue is this? Very untrue and it pains me that they accept these lies.

Their accepting the lies isn't their fault. It is like the case of wanting to eat an apple but couldn't get but you had to settle for a pea because it looks like an apple.

                    

Out of the approximately 4 billion ladies living in the world today, a majority of them are living and walking around with a distorted view of what their true self-identity is and should be. They have been deceived and lied to, and some of them have experienced sad stories that are unimaginable that have left them remarkably broken. If you are of such a lady, I do not mean to trivialise what you experienced I am only trying to help you gain true freedom and if this offends you; I am sorry!

True freedom can only be gotten when truth is allowed to prevail.

Women, must come to the point they understand and truly know who they are. Beyond the "I am beautiful" you say to yourself standing in front of a mirror do you actually realize you are beautiful and go as far as believing it? or do you try to hypnotize yourself to believe them but deep down within you know you don't believe that shit...

One thing we must realise is that we must become self-conscious of our self Identity. To be conscious of your self-identity means that you will no longer be able to second guess who you know you are even if society tells you otherwise.

If women for one are conscious of who they truly are, society will not identify them to be sex objects, nor as weaker vessels.

The moral decadence we experience in our world today can all be tied to a lack of self Identity. Parent who doesn't know who they are give birth to children who will end up not knowing who they should be. And because of the intrinsic nature of the mind to find answers to more profound meaning, crave affection and attention and be loved they end up settling for pseudo-self-identity they shouldn't settle for; just because they don't know how who they should look like.

Like I said earlier, you can't blame them and you shouldn't even blame them. If you truly know something then you know. You cannot fake knowledge that has become a reality to you. There will be a gap that shows you are faking it- A self-identity-conscious person is easy to tell. It shows from within them.

How can I know my true Identity?

The first and most profound way that will give you a 100% authentic answer is to ask your creator who created you. If you want to know how a biro is meant to be used, you will ask a biro maker, or if you want to know how your mobile phone that you dazzle all around is to be used, you will ask the manufacturer or read the manual that was attached to the phone. Similarly, If you want to know who you are ask the one that created you- God.

I understand that there are many diverse religions in the world today and you might belong to one unfortunately you might not know about God. When I talk about God; I am talking about the supreme being that created the universe. 

The universe is too a mindblowing artistic design that can be left to question if there was a Supreme being- God that made it. There is a God that made the universe and made you too. So ask him!

The second way to know your true identity is to look at other things God created, He made them perfect so are you.

You are perfectly flawless. Everything about you is so detailed that imperfection should be doubted in every moment you have those thoughts.

Thank You!

© IamSolomonOla

If peradventure you need someone to talk to, share your pains with and lead you to the path of healing and growth you can write me a comment and I will respond to you.